you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
