He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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