what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
