I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
