it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
