This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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