you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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