So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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