I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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