im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
