Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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