You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
love makes seman taste better
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
