Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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