Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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