Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
