It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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