Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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