now i know why i became what i already was.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
