um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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