mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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