just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
