he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
