is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize