i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
