I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
