she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
