It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
