Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
