Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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