If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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