...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize