its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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