I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
