every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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