I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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