youre lurking in front of me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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