I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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