Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Mom said you looked used
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
