Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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