GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
