He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
