fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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