pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
