Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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