It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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