it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
