Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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