I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
