I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
