So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
