I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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