My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I could fuck to npr.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
