My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
