LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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