I think I died a long time ago.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
