help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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