I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
