Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
